47.

If there's anything scarier than watching a fat person at a buffet table it's women with armpit hair.

And it's not only Indian girls, (sorry for racist stereotype, but you guys are hairy as hell! Not a bad thing though... if you're dating a MONKEY! Hahahahahaha!*) I've seen some Chinese girls sporting arm-beards too!

Don't look at me as if you don't know what I'm talking about, because surely you have seen it before.

She's a pretty cute girl, she walks by and takes a seat near you and you're going

"Mmmhmm, lookin' pretty good honey" *nod of approval*

She's looking good in a cute short sleeved tee that hugs her tight body like a cobra. She brushes back her hair and you feel your heart melt a little. Then as her arm passes your eyes you are engulfed, for a split second, in total darkness as you realize that your worst fear has come true.

SHE HAS ARM PIT HAIR!

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Dramatization aside, having arm pit hair as a girl/woman is seriously a bad, bad, idea and I personally think it's on par with having someone vomit his intestinal juice all over your face in terms of disgusting-ness (or whatever word that is appropriate).

Seriously, we're in the 21st century! Razors were invented at least 100 years ago and waxing is increasing in popularity! There's absolutely NO reason why women should have arm pit hair.

Unless of course, they find it attractive, in which case, how the hell are we as a society going to entrust women with the equal rights the feminists constantly push for? No way I'm voting for a female president who keeps a f*cking plantation under her arm because that throws her decision making skills into serious doubt and suggests that her mind is really, really messed up.

There are two kinds of Hairy Armpit Girls: (HAG <<<>

The discreet ones and the really proud ones.

The discreet ones are the kind that have it, don't shave it, but they're silent about it and they don't go around flaunting it etc., so I guess they're kinda okay, still nasty though.

Then on the other hand, we have the proud and loud ones. These people are the In-Your-Face kind. The kind that will intentionally wear a sweater, run up in front of you and roll up the goddamned sleeves and shove the whole freaking sweaty 'pit bush in your face for you to smell and then declare proudly her lack of desire to shave it off.

These kinds of HAGs are not only extremely repulsive but also give some of the worst excuses for not shaving it off, the most common of which is "because this is how God made us".

Excuse me?

I am not the devoutest of Catholics but I'm quite sure God would not like his creations to be unkempt, hairy things. Taking off that armpit hair isn't going against the word of God, it's just a silly excuse.

Then we have those that think being au naturel is sexy because it's natural and should not be taken away (sort of like the above God reasoning).

What?

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I apologize. That was a combination of me smashing my keyboard from looking at the first picture and then trying to get all the drool stuck in the keys out after looking at Megan Fox.

So anyway, as you can see, arm pit hair is definitely NOT sexy at all.

In fact, I think a law has to made regarding the existence of hair under a woman's arm.

I propose this.

1.1 Any girl/woman/female/person with a vagina found to have any strands of black (or white, in the case of senior citizens) hair under the arm will be found guilty of Public Indecency and Intentional Inflicted Eyeball Harm.

1.2 Offenders can and will be charged in the name of court and face up to seven years of confinement in a cell with waxed bikini models and up to three years of shaving and waxing advice given by hairless 8 year old boys with annoyingly high pitched pre-pubescent voices.

Agree? Disagree? Want the government to consider the implication of my newly created law? What do you think of this rather hairy (OMG so lame I know) situation?

*Just kidding guys! Don't take me too seriously.