38.

Is it me or does half the population have their birthdays in August?

(By the way, research has found that March babies are naturally sexier.)

Also,

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to light the sock on fire. Turns out,semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML.

BEST. FML. EVER.