56.

Hello 2/2ers (and you other peasants from other classes)!

I know, I know. Finally I have a blog! But that is not the point of this. The point of this is that as you are reading this we have already parted ways and said our goodbyes. And so yes, this is the cliched farewell post that everyone is going to write. This post has gone through several revisions and has been in writing since the start of September, so I'm hoping it'll turn out good!

First off I would like to say that, like us or hate us, no one in class can deny the fact that we've definitely been full of entertainment over the past 2 years. Sure, we're often the worst in terms of overall results and we probably could rival the NT classes in terms of notoriety but no doubts about it, had I been given the chance at an imaginary rewind option right now, I would have refused to be in any other class.

(Here's a list of things we've done, as a small reminder to the reader of our unparalleled awesomeness!

And just for the sake for it, here's every single crazy thing we've done since we first came together in S1!

Captain's Ball

Class Captain's Ball

Class Captain's Ball With Basketball

Umbrella Star Wars

Umbrella Baseball (R.I.P. Kenny and YK's umbrellas!)

Bottle Cap Throwing

Bent Milo Tin Can Throwing

Broom Throwing

Jedidiah Into The Toilet Throwing

Handphone Games

Handphone Soccer (Once again, R.I.P. YK's phone)

Jumping And Leaving Marks Above The Door (That's our legacy, YK and SL!)

Smashing Open Markers

Catching Cockroaches

Catching Cockroaches, Then Leaving Them Overnight In A Plastic Bag

Catching Cockroaches, Leaving Them Overnight In A Plastic Bag, Then Throwing It At The Fan

Catching Cockroaches, Putting It Into People's Pencil Cases

Catching Cockroaches, Putting It Into WX's Hair

Teacher's Table Table Tennis

Stripper's Teacher's Table Table Tennis

Arm Wrestling

Vandalism Of Tables

So nostalgic! Right, back to sounding sad.)

As a class we have evolved and improved tremendously over this past year; we have set a fine example of what focus and determination can bring out in a group of people with our comparatively far superior results (in comparison to last year's). We have behaved better (no window panels broken this year if I'm not mistaken!) and yet most importantly kept the fun alive, and that is what in my opinion has made this class so much more fun to be in this year and so much harder to leave.

Before I delve into a VERY long list of individual reviews (I sound scholarly!) I would first like to apologize to almost (you know who you Exceptions are) everybody. I know I've been somewhat of a jerk sometimes in class and a bit insensitive with the things I say. It is amazing how people have put up with me and I am thankful for that.

Right, sounding pathetically homosexual aside, below are just brief (for some, long) paragraphs of what I've felt about every person in class over these past two years. I'll try to be nice!

01 Andy

I'll admit this is a rather tough one to start with. Not only because I do not know you well but also because at certain times I have said and done certain things thave have been quite nasty to you. Although I still honestly find your handwriting to be quite possibly the ugliest I've ever seen, and I hate it when you sneeze in my exam question papers before passing them to me, I don't think you are all that bad and you could become a better person should you overcome some of your countless distractions (and learnt a bit of manners, but that's being nasty).

03 Jing Wen

You are a peculiar character, I admit you are. You are the first person ever to have asked in my face what an erection and a vagina was and it brings back rather fond (read:amusing) memories from S1. However slowly I have come to see you not as the dumb netballer your initial impression gave me, but as a cheerful girl. Sometimes you have been the only one laughing at something I say. You have saved me from a lot of embarrassment over the years. Thank you!

04 Simarpreet

From my limited encounters with you (flag raising, lab lessons) I have found you to be quite the intelligent person, always with a comeback in hand just in case you I make fun of you again (I admit, my pool of jokes run low) by suggesting Kshitij as your love interest. You have without a doubt the best handwriting in class, almost (but not quite in my opinion) rivaling Mr Ng's supreme calligraphy-esque letters, which is definitely saying something. You're smart, you can do well. All the best, Chabbra. (Just one last jab I swear!)

05 Hui Lin

Stranger! I think I have spent more time pondering the sexuality of Barney more than I have spent talking to you. As such, I don't have much to say. However you have earned a lot of respect from me by being able to do a split (I can't even touch my toes!) and I'm sure you're a great dancer as well. You're also pretty damned good at Chinese I hear, so congratulations, another thing I suck at which you completely rock in. I'm pretty sure you dance well (although I think your swan like movements could be challenged by my sexy belly dancing, but that is a topic for another day) so good luck in your future competitions! Oh and by the way. Would you like a carrot? JUST JOKING!

06 Tiffany

Tiffany Danker Nicole is a really sexy name in my opinion. You are uhm... not exactly that (you need to put on weight! Learn from your fat friend Edna!) BUT I have a lot of respect for you for being able to remain the class chairperson for one whole year with your sanity intact (seems like a tough job huh!) and overall you seem like a fun person.

I share your admiration of Wentworth Miller (in a non-gay way, I just think he looks cool) and Ronaldo, and we're both born in March. I personally think this means we're intrinsically awesome, but that's just me.

Finally, I gotta say, I still completely disagree with you: Megan Fox is seriously hot. I don't care what you say, she just is!

07 Eileen

Here comes the first of the big two! I've also had limited opportunities to talk with you but I believe it is fair enough for me to say from your overawing academic achievements that you're either a) really hardworking, or b) damned smart, or possibly both. Regardless of which ever it is, I am nevertheless extremely envious!

Finally, rest assured you have earned tremendous respect from the class community for doing what no one else in class has done before; getting more A1s than Ying Rong. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

08 Ying Rong

Don't worry, (although I highly doubt you'd be reading this. Why go on the internet when you can study right?) what I said in the above paragraph does absolutely nothing to change my opinion that you are, I believe will continue to be, the best of the best in the class, and very likely the level.

To such an extent was your domination that most of us would have had no qualms betting our organs on you topping a test or getting singled out for praise. I hope you'll be doing equally well next year so I have some motivation to study (and God forbid, beat you. But no worries, not in the foreseeable future, if ever)!

09 Hazel

Hazel Yow! I don't know you on a really close personal basis (like someone else I know would like to!) but from my limited conversations and interactions with you I gotta say you seem like a fun, cheerful girl, like all girls at this age should be!

You're also a godsend during Captain Ball competitions. We call you a wild monkey, not as an insult but rather a major compliment to your ability to run non stop and get in people's faces, which more than compensates for your disadvantage in height. You were also a beast when it came to leveling speed in JamLegends!

For your sake, I wish we could have won either one of the two inter-class Captain Ball finals we played and I hope you find more luck in your next class!

10 Tessa

Now, I gotta admit, when I first saw you in S1 I thought you looked like the typical, shallow, bitch that everyone makes the more attractive (fine, I admit) females to be.

However, once I got to know you better (mostly from our short stint sitting together at the back with Yi Kai) I found out that hey, you aren't that bad a person after all! Your occasional anecdotes on things like skin cancer and cleanliness amused me somewhat (now I know never to pick up notes from China!) although I still think you're messed up somewhere in the brain for not daring to pick up a coin yet having no qualms whatsoever to pick up a dead cockroach.

Talking with you online has made me realize what a useful tool the exclamation mark (!) is in making one sound less serious and you are also probably the only person I've met that bitches about a person and then proceeds to apologize and feel bad! Don't worry! You are from it and if anything I'm MUCH worse!

I do realize I owe some apologies to you for saying certain things to you and attempting to murder you with an unloaded stapler, but anyway, the year is coming to a close and it is all in the past, and I wish you good luck in whatever you do in the future. Remember the rose!

Finally, don't forget: The Approach, The Statement!

11 Wei Jie

Oh my lovable cherub child. In all honesty, I have absolutely no problems with you whatsoever. Over the past year you have gotten much more likable and right now I can actually stand talking to you because you're not that bad a guy! It still never ceases to amaze me how... big you still are even with all that soccer you play. But no worries, at least you are making an effort. I am sure you will one day lose all that excess weight!

I can't say much, but good luck in losing weight and continue being this way (not like Andy)!

12 Jedidiah

I think you are an annoying person who can talk the talk but when it comes to walking the walk you're an amputee stuck in quicksand. But on the bright side, at least at times you are sensible. That is all really. I used to think you were nice before you became a jerk.

13 Jessie

If I had "dramatism" then you must be a Hollywood Jeffrey Deaver blockbuster!

Right. Bad joke again. Apologies.

But seriously you are quite the character; piercings, shopping, photography, hip hop dancing, drama, AND writing? My ego takes a blow because I bow down in awe. Add the fact that so much cool stuff happens to you and it makes you even more incredibly awesome! More than makes up for your lack in height (which as you would say, can always be compensated for with 5 inch heels anyway)!

Unfortunately I have not been the best of company at times and I apologize for that! Loose lips and pathetic attempts at consolation I think are just things I'm inherently bad at and sometimes they have led to rather disastrous incidents. Forgive me.

All in all though I think you are kickass and continue doing what you do because we live only once (religious beliefs aside) and you sure as hell are living it to the fullest!

14 Junisha

I still remember you as the person that was so shocked when I told you I didn't have a blog! Well here it is, and I gotta agree it's a fun thing to do when you're bored! Ironic isn't it, that yours is dead now!

Anyway, I think you're a great person and wonderful councilor (don't listen to the teachers that say otherwise!) and intelligent as well!

Over these two years I have gained newfound respect for you as a result of your ability to tolerate Stephanie and Co. constantly throwing your belt down, beating Jedidiah in arm wrestling, and of course, who could forget:

Your 8 second shuttle run. :D

15 Kenny

As much as I want to bestow you the title of being the first person to taint my innocent mind in secondary one, that prize unfortunately goes to Shawn.

However what I can say about you is that you've been a great friend throughout S1 and S2 and a worthy and capable companion in most cases. Your ability to do pull ups has led me through an astonishing growth in strength this year and one day I hope to challenge that achievement.

Because we're guys and all I don't have much to say to you, and anything I say anyway will only end up making me look rather homosexual and so all I will say is thank you, my fellow Spiritual Entity.

16 Wei Xiang

Our relationship dates back to primary school, although we are far closer now than we ever were then.

I have to thank you for being a great source of entertainment for me over these two years. Your magnetism for ultimate failure and ability to do stupid things has made for excellent joke material and I love how you've grown into more than just a nerd. Love the attitude.

I won't forget the wonderful times I've spent with you battling zombies and beasts so ugly they'd give you a run for your money (one last joke please!). You've been a great co-op partner, always there to revive me from one of my suicidal attempts at breaching enemy defenses (although I wish you'd charge with me sometimes instead of staying behind cover!).

Rest assured you're welcome to come down for firing practice when GeoW3/L4D2 hits shelves in the future!

17 Kiran

I (and I'm sure most people) personally would like to apologize for the constant fat jokes I've made of you in the past, for in this year you have turned out to be a much nicer person than we've all expected and I thank you for tolerating us and showing us that you aren't that bad a person after all.

Stay nice, stay smart

And hopefully, do a pull-up!

LOLOLOLOLOL.

I kid.

18 Joyce

I don't know you very well so I can't say much but I wish you good luck in your singing aspirations and hope you'll find a class which accepts you more than we have!

19 Kshitij

In the rare times that I've been able to put up with you, you've seemed like a really decent person, and although like Joyce you have struggled to find acceptance within the class, know that you've been great company to Ying Chen. On the behalf of the class I thank you for keeping him occupied throughout these two years, for I fear that if you had not he would be dead by now.

Also, I apologize for the jokes, but it's hard to resist cracking a fecal gem whenever we hear your name!

20 Jing Pei

I remember you as the new girl from S1, and I remember thinking you were a bit of a loner then. But as is evident from the omnipresent posse of girls around you, it seems you've become a really likable figure in the class. Councilor, girl guide and mathematical luminary, I wish you well in your upper secondary years!

21 Seng Leong

What can I say? At times we've had our differences (I attribute Krishna's scent as the causative factor for that tangle a few months back), but look behind those cracks and at the bigger picture and you will realize that in the end, it has only strengthened the relationship.

Because of our conflicting interests (I still think Physics>Biology) in studies we are almost certainly going to part next year and amongst several other things such as our time sitting together (whereby I discovered and thus spawned several intelligent discussions on moon cheese) and blind mice games, I'll miss both your ability and intelligence as a person as well as tolerance for stupidity.

All the best in the future.

22 Emily

Another person I do not know so well! I remember not being able to differentiate between you and Eileen, both because of your similarity in names, looks as well as intelligence! You're rather quiet to me but I'm sure you're wonderful when you're around your friends.

Above all I hope you remember me for that chocolate I gave you when you were my mortal! I really didn't know what to get!

23 Yi Ning

One of my fondest memories of you is running around you when you suggested we played block catching a long time ago when the old playground was still around. I apologize for being a jerk (although I still think it's funny!) and I'll go ahead and counter that by saying the size of your heart far outdoes that of your belly! This might seem like another bad joke, but it's not!

Have fun in upper secondary!

24 Yan Ling

I believe if one were to combine the amount of time I've spent talking to you from S1 till now, it would equal the amount of time Wei Xiang would last in an arm wrestling match with me. (OK sorry WX I really can't resist!)

Nevertheless, you seem like a great person, a dedicated dancer, smart student, and from what I've heard from my conversations with people, a well liked individual!

25 Edna

Ah dear Edna. I still remember thinking of you as a fierce man-bitch last year, when my interactions with you were few and far between and any information on you was only heard through the class grapevine.

This year however, I've found out first hand what a nice person you can be at times, easy to talk to and amazingly wonderful to make fun of. Had it been any other girl sitting beside me this year and listening to my random and oftentimes rude comments I think I would've been slapped.

However you've been an exception, you've been a great partner, master at graph drawing and a far better vice chairperson than I would have ever been. And, after seeing your English results in SA2, I promise I won't ever poke fun at your English ever again.

I mean it.

Wipe that grin off your face and stop stroking your penis! :P

26 Ying Chen

You are truly a vile creature. Repulsive (I've never known of a person that hasn't used shampoo in 13 1/2 years, wipes his butt with his hand after shitting, and brushes his teeth once every two days, all because he's lazy!) and sometimes shockingly stupid, (I'll never forget the time you handed in a blank sheet of paper for your CA1 English composition because your pen ran out of ink) there has never been a dull moment when you've been around (not in a good way, I assure you) and it's been an interesting two years with you.

27 Zhi Xuan

It has been a LONG time since me, you and Kenny stayed back together for no apparent reason. What has NOT changed since then? You're still playing games on your cellphone every day. Loser.

But seriously though, I'm glad you've been around as my walking Chinese cheat sheet, although most of the terms you have suggested for use in my compositions have often been way too hard for my brain to comprehend. Your table slamming, head rolling laughter and exaggerated actions have been fun to watch, albeit never failing to leave me cringing!

28 Chee Wang

You were the first person I spoke to in ANDESS, while we were in line at the hall waiting for a talk on the first day of secondary one. Since then, we've not really been extremely good friends, but never enemies either. I enjoyed the times playing table tennis at your house and your abilities as a paddler leave me in awe. Work hard, break out of diamond-hood!

29 June Yee

Great fun to be with regardless of where and when. Your crush on Hazel has made for great SMS games and your private server has killed a lot of time for me.

In you I have met my match (and far beyond) in Typing Maniac and even if we do eventually part, we'll always be together in the most kickass CCA of all time: InfoComm club!

JY get out of diamond-hood!

30 Phebe

Although we have had close to zero communication in 2009, I think it's fair enough to deduce from the countless really late MSN conversations I had with you in '08 to say that you're a nice person.

I congratulate you on your success in SA2 and I hope you'll cheer up, whatever's bothering you shouldn't bring you down!

31 Cheryl

I've sat behind you two times in our years as a class; once while with SL, during which we memorably tossed tissue paper coated with glue into your bag, and another time while sitting with Edna, which I will remember as the time where boys went crazy for you and your sexy face!

I will remember you as the one whose electronic English dictionary left me fascinated (I assure you I contributed a LOT to the "loss" column of your hangman statistics!) and said probably one of the more memorable class quotes of 2009 (see more below)!

32 Rachel

It's scary how still and quiet you can be at times. I hope you'll talk to people more! I can't really say anything to you for I have never really ever spoken to you before. But I'll say this: you'd make for a good statue!

No but seriously, we thought you were dead during the cinematic experience because of your stillness!

33 Regine

I thank you for being the one who totally owned Jedidiah in both badminton AND tennis and showed him how bad he really was. I've heard more about you than I've heard from you these two years so I can't really say anything but I've finally met someone fairer than me!

I feel more manly.

34 Rita

Never talked to you. Ever. But I'll congratulate you on your move from basketball to Art Club, where you have found success in your drawings!

35 Shawn

You might be one of the most likable people in the class, not only because of your extremely racist jokes and TERRIBLE spelling and grammar, but also because of the fun person that lies beneath. In you I have found a competitor to spur me on to score in Geography and History (an academic battle that ended in a tie, which was probably a fair result) and it was great running the relay with you back during the Sports Carnival.

In you the class had a great runner, winning us several prizes along the way and therefore contributing to our awesomeness, and should we end up in the same class next year, you have it on my word that if we run together again, I'll try my best to give 2/8 a run (get it? LOLOLOL) for their money.

As much as I lament your horrible English, it's something that has made you unique. The crazy experiences I've shared with you over these two years (airplane ride, umbrella star wars & baseball, sprinting down the corridor, gacha-ing in Maple, ganging on WX in WolfTeam just to name a few) have made secondary life stand out and I look forward to even more in the future.

36 Stephanie

If nothing else, you are, in my opinion, by far the most persistent SMSer EVER. Countless times I have attempted to show my disinterest and every single time you have taken my words and thrown it away, and then continue to talk to me about shopping and Chace Crawford until I eventually (lie that I'm going to) sleep.

You are really bitchy, so it was fun being a jerk to you. Congratulations on your promotion from diamond-hood (although I must ask how much money you used to bribe them!) and good luck in your relationship with Alvin.

37 Jin Jia

Our resident Muscle Man after beating YK in an arm wrestling match way back in secondary one! Although YK has grown stronger and subsequently beaten you, you will always be remembered as the quiet guy that didn't look strong but shocked us when his arm was put to work. Your killer calm expression unnerved us and your friendly personality has made you a great addition to the class!

38 Yi Kai

The second person I made friends with in secondary one, WX initiating the conversation between us and you and Chee Wang is something I am grateful to him for, for in you I have met a person that admittedly isn't very bright, but never fails to give me a good time.

Right from the get go I remember you being at the forefront of almost everything the class has done; anchoring us to victory in our inaugural Tug of War battle, admirably blocking in Captain's Ball, Teacher's Table Table Tennis, and of course, throwing Jedidiah into the girls toilet. You sparked my interest in volleyball, and although I never joined, I still think it's really cool to jump high.

You are perhaps the only guy that I have never actually gotten mad at, perhaps because of you being naturally laid-back and your vast amounts of bodily hair, but that is something we'll talk about another time. Talking to you while walking around aimlessly in Courts, (looking at shavers!) sport shops, (I'll go to Queensway one day if you really insist!) and KFC have been enjoyable and no doubt will be missed.

All in all I think that whatever you have lacked in the brains department, (you are not stupid, just lazy) you have more than made up in the things that you've done for those that have had the fortune to know you. You've been an incredible friend and I'll try my best to be faithful, even if we are destined to part next year.

39 Wei Lin

Another person I've never really known, but I respect you for being so good at studies while at the same time not compromising on friends. I really can't think of anything to say except good luck in triple science!

40 Ling Shuang

Pretty much the same as Wei Lin. Jokes have been made about a certain body part of yours and it was funny but it doesn't take anything away from the fact that you're a nice person. Thank you for marking my attendance during all those days I skipped Math Olympiad! I appreciate it, and you won't have to do it again next year!

41 Ke Hui

You entertained me with your mostly sexual encounters with your too-hot-to-be-true wives (from what others have said) and although I still don't believe it, I'll credit you with being a really good story teller.

You have been a strange character really, and although there's nothing wrong with being strange, you're just not my type, and so hopefully I won't see you again. I wish you all the best in the future and please, never ever cut yourself again! Chicks dig scars, but mutilation reeks of desperation!

K sorry. Ran out of witticism-producing brain fluid.

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We've done so many things as a class that it'd be criminal not to mention them, and so here is my personal way of honoring some of the things 1/2 '08 and 2/2 '09 has done.

Most Fail Moment:

WINNER:

Wei Xiang running into a wall

Cost of a piece of tissue paper: $0.05

Cost of a bottle of water: $1.00

Cost of dipping tissue paper in water, throwing it into Wei Xiang's face and then having him chase you out the door and run face first into the wall just as you turn, injuring his face and inciting raucous laughter?

ABSOLUTELY FUCKING PRICELESS!

Honorable Mention:

Jedidiah walking straight into the slide and injuring his head during a game of Blind Mice.

Jedidiah: WHERE ARE YOU GUYS!?

*Walks straight into slide, bumps head against upper platform*

Jedidiah: OW!

Rest: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

Quote of the Year (Two Years?):

WINNER:

Wei Xiang

"OMG Wei Xiang you got black cock?"

"WX: No, it was the SHADOW!"

We believe you. :P

Honorable Mention(s):

Shawn Low

Me: Hey wanna see me touch my nose with my tongue?

Shawn: Sure

Me: *attempts to do it*

Shawn: Wah, your tongue very good for blowjob leh!

The above quote was coincidentally also the first time I heard the word blowjob. It also sparked the beginning of the end of a pure mind.

Wei Xiang

"You better watch out."

*cracks knuckles*

Cheryl Phua

"Eh Cheryl, you got shave your armpit or not?"

"I don't shave; I WAX!"

Kickass Teacher Award

WINNER:

Mr Ng

If his handwriting were a font, I'd use it! Approachable, amazing tolerance, and a great teacher all in all. What's not to love?

Honorable Mention:

Ms Yeoh

Free periods for a few months because of some terminal illness (obesity)? Yes please!

Teacher That Should Get Their Ass Kicked Award

Mrs T. (I'm sure you guys know anyway)

Ever met an English teacher that can't spell Google ("gogle"), stationery ("stationary"), addiction ("addition") or tattoo ("tatoo") AND asks her students to collect her exam scripts for her during the exams? No? We have one! Tears of boredom brought about by lessons, Mrs T. has never failed in her attempt to be the worst teacher of all time. Watching a monkey masturbate would have more educational value.

Honorable Mention:

Mrs K.

Bitchy, boring and possessing possibly the world's most amazing armpit sweat producing glands, AND unabashedly showing it off (2/2 cheer anyone?), Mrs K. has done the impossible by making History lessons more boring than ever thought possible.

Most "OMFG. Oops?" Moment Award

WINNER(S):

All tied because they were all shockingly bad!

Breaking of window panel on the left of class 1/2 because of a scuffle

Breaking of window panel on the right of class 1/2 because of kicking a basketball

Rattling of fan in the middle of class 1/2 because of throwing a basketball at it

Breaking of a fan beside the teacher's table of class 2/2 because of a tug

Breaking of a clock on the wall of class 2/2 because of a volleyball

It was Wei Xiang.

Honorable Mention:

Me, for nearly killing Shawn in Secondary One after losing balance and eventually crashing into the noticeboard while attempting to spin him around while carrying him.

What's there to worry? This will be REALLY safe!

I'm really sorry about that Shawn.

******************************************************************

And that is pretty much all I have to say really; You guys have been awesome to be with and I wish all (most) of you well in the future!

But before I go,

ONE LAST WEI XIANG JOKE! Even if you've skipped reading all the stuff written above, remember this at least as a symbol of what 2/2 was and what it will always be (bullies lol)!

Q;Why did Wei Xiang cross the -

BANG HE GOT KNOCKED DOWN BY A CAR AND DIED! LOLOLOLOLOL!

:)

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."
- Dr Seuss